Managing Conflict in Your Marriage - 10 Steps for Conflict Resolution

20 Nov
Rachael Miller, MA, LCPC, NCC, EAC, EMDR-C


1) De-escalate strong and disruptive feelings

2) Acknowledge each other and differing perspectives

3) Take on a listening role with each other

4) Discuss underlying issues, fears, and feelings

5) Define the problem

6) Assert needs and wants specifically and clearly

7) Remain flexible as you brainstorm options

8) Remain calm and respectful at any impasses

9) Come to an intentional agreement that works

10) Determine what each partner can do in the future should the issue surface again


The above steps were adapted from the following resources below.

Conflict Resolution - Conflict Management - Conflict Management for Couples - Managing Conflict in Marriage - Steps to Conflict Management

Rachael specializes in the neurobiology-informed clinical practice of trauma recovery including psychotraumatology and neuropsychosocial interventions for social change. She utilizes Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) for post-traumatic growth, stress resilience, and top performance goals. Rachael worked as an adjunct professor at Loyola University in Chicago, Illinois and Wesley Institute in Sydney, Australia.

Rachael is a co-founder and the Managing Partner of Clinical & Health Innovations at Impact Alchemy, the owner and clinical director of Chicago Counseling and a provider-consultant in EMDR. She is a Board Certified Counselor, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and Pastoral Counselor. She currently serves on the EMDR International Association Board of Directors and Research, Education, Standards, and Credentialing Committee for EMDRIA. Her work has had global impact through the development of dozens of innovative community programs, education seminars, and intervention optimization projects across several countries.

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